After a long pause, I am back now to twoday.net.
I am working on my own website now since I want to have a portfolio to show around when I will be looking for multimedia jobs.

So much happened in the last months, almost impossible to get to draft a resume.

- I have moved house in the beginning of February and am now sharing flat with an Austrian female who has her roots in Nigeria.
- The end of the third semester at college was very stressful.
- Our diploma project is not running as smooth as I have imagined.
- I have decided to terminate the night receptionist job because lately too many bad things have happened around here. I will hand in my resignation on Wednesday - after I have spoken to the Austrian worker's syndicate.
- I have no idea what will come next.
- In July, the college will be over. I will be a tour guide again for 6 weeks then but afterwards there is a big black whole...
- My sister is back from her exchange semester in Utrecht. We are working on a short film for her birthday on March 8th.
- I have done no sports in ages. Will go and subscribe to a fitness center next week. I had a look on several martial art classes in my neighbourhood but I am not keen on starting something different than Karate again. And Karate with my jaws is not a good idea at the moment.
- I have fallen in love with a guy I do not know. A friend of the boyfriend of my best friend here.
- I am thinking a lot about my life and what I want to make with it lately.
- There are vjs and visual art I am very interested in at the moment.
- I am trying to get as much out of college as I can. It will be over soon and then all education and hire of filming equipment will be expensive.
- I have loads of debts. Probably my whole life...
- My jaws are not any better. I can eat more than before and I enjoy it! But half of my face is still dumb and I fear that the nerve will never heal again.

Anything I missed out? Sure. But the essence of what happened in the last months and occupied my mind is written down now.

Big sigh...

Back in "real" life since Tuesday.

The 8 days at the hospital were like a nightmare. I spent them in pain, being lost, not being able to communicate and not trusting the doctors and nurses. Something went wrong during the operation, a jaw bone broke and now I am not allowed to do any sports or eat anything besides something fluid for 6 weeks.

I am still not able to speak much. My whole face is deaf, I do not feel anything. I feel like a disabled person...

I am so happy about the people who visited me during the hospital stay. Endlessly happy to have such trustworthy and kind friends. :-)

Spending my days mostly with going for walks and sleeping. There is not much energy in my body and the mind still has to come to peace with the things I have experienced and seen during the hospital stay.

Hoping to feel like a human being again next week.

We went to Tirol the week-end before last week-end for finally filming for our diploma project. The solar architecture house was extremely astonishing and so was the working together with my two study colleagues Alex and Daniel. The hospitality of the architect and his wife were awesome! From the filming and audio technique side, I have learned a lot! The strange thing about this little village called Sistrans where the architect is living was that it was completely silent at night. We watched beautiful stars in the sky. On the journey there and back I had some wonderful and meaningful discussions with Alex and Daniel. I appreciate their company and calmness very much.

I had a lot of pre-examinations for the operation and was really depressed because of that. I hardly went to college. Yesterday, they finally gave their ok for the admittance to the hospital.

Last week, Veli asked Estelle and me to do some filming for a Bulgarian-Austrian Cooking night and a Bulgarian-Austrian event at "Klub Ost". That was a lot of hard work but fun too! The output is not as good as we expected but surely we learned a lot. Again about interviewing techniques and audio output and white balance. ;-)

There was the "Viennale" film festival going on until today but I only had time to go to one discussion round about new Austrian director's. I heared about the "gap between events" in films.

I went out eating at "Art of Life". One of the best vegan restaurans in Vienna.

Last Friday, I met up with Reinhard for a poi-session at the Burggarten. It seems as this will be the last one this year because he is flying to Egypt for two weeks and then it will be too cold.

Yesterday I bought a djembe at trommeln.at because since I will not be allowed to do sports for 1 1/2 months ofter the operation, I will need something else to put off my "daily aggression".

At night, we also went for a firepoi-session at the Urania bridge where Estelle shot some photos and we met some new fire players. Finally, the Viennese fire-players are becoming a bit more organised! Wonderful pictures!

Tonight and tomorrow and after-tomorrow I have to work at the Altwienerhof. I do not want to tonight because there is a girl wanting to become a night-receptionist and on Saturday she already went on my nerves so much!!!

I am planning to throw a little party on Saturday night because I will not be allowed to drink for a while after the operation. Which is not so much of a pity you might think. ;-) Sadly, many of my friends are away over the Autumn holidays.

My operation is next Monday. I have to check in the hospital Sunday at around noon. Gladly, some friends have given me a lot of films to watch and I will take my pois and some books with me.

Went straight home after work.
Had the plan to make my first vegan pie but in the end I nearly burnt down the kitchen. ;-)
Could not sleep, thinking too much of things and people.
Sandra just called in to ask if I would come over this evening for a chatting and cooking session. Yes, oh yes.

On Sunday I spent my day with my study colleague Estelle filming the Technisches Museum, the outside facade and the interior and some interview settings. She wants to become a professional photographer and is therefore very skilled with regards to camera settings and aesthetic pictures. This is also useful for video cameras. I wished I had paid more attention last year in the class of my photograph teacher. It is extremely difficult for me to handle the video camera without photographic knowledge.

We went to the house of her boyfriend and had a very interesting discussion about sustainable development and consumer power.

I went to class on Monday and on Tuesday to Susanne at geyrhalter film. She listened to our concept and gave me a lot of useful hints for or filming project. The most interesting thing she said is that I should trust my intuition and not concentrate too much on the technical aspect of filming.

In the afternoon, I finally had a discussion with the architecte about filming this week-end. He did not know anything about our plan to come there. I was shocked because I had arranged with work and school and Alex and Daniel to go there. We had also looked after getting the equipment together. When I met my team-members for a discussion later, I was really angry because Daniel had not told him anything. We decided to make the best of the situation.

On Wednesday morning, Daniel presented a new image dvd concept. We all thought, it was very good. I spent my Flash class with the Video class and Mr. Roschnik, the teacher for our project. He is a very "slow" person for other people but I like him because he is calm and what he says and does makes sense. His slowness also means that he is patient. And he is very good at explaining. I learned a lot about the camera this morning.

I went to Cafe Schwarzenberg with Estelle for a discussion about our SKPH project: sustainability and consumer#s power. We also talked about Lars von Trier's films, especially "Breaking The Waves" and "Dancer in the Dark" and "Dogville". We decided that we will be working together on a project called "Trier#s female figures in his films" for MDS.

In the afternoon we had a meeting with the architect in his flat in Vienna and this time he had a lot of time for us and listened to our suggestions. He even came up with suggestions and ideas by himself!

In the middle of the discussion I got a call from the hospital that they have postponed the operation again. Until November 23rd. I could not believe it!!! I was so angry! And I am still angry! Because all the energy it costs to rearrange work, school deadlines, the filming in Tirol and some examinations at the dentists and the blood donations... OH MY GOD!!! Why can they not look up the operation planning at the hospital properly??? I mean, I did not say anything when they first changed the date but a second time??? It is just not possible to work that lazely!!!

I went home and straight to bed after that...

On Thursday, yesterday, I went to my dentist. Then I rang the blood donation center and they said I could not have the appointment today but had to postpone it as well because blood only stays fresh for six weeks. How I hated that!!!

I went to class and spent my day like a wreck because I had been up all night - psychological pain because of the needle for the blood donation. And in the end the appointment did not take place.

I listened to the people around me. Philipp is reading Paul Auster now. How on earth? Did I ever tell him about my favourite English writer? I do not remember.

Hummel accepted Nives', Ingrid's and my suggestion for female and male communication as project.

The bike store does not know when my bike will be ready. My head feels ok again and I feel so eager to do some sport again, move my body around again!!!

I felt angry and cleaned up the flat again. Oliver helped me. Lorenzo never will.

I was working on some research for the projects yesterday evening and night and even completed the programme for Veli;s and Nikolaj:s wedding calendar. It will go for printing today and I will give them the calendar next week.

Why do I have time to write all this now? Very typical for the college: We were supposed to have class this morning but the responsable teacher did not say he would be away for a seminar. And the good thing is> there is internet access again here. :-)

I am going to work tonight and tomorrow night. Luckily at least I could rearrange work for the filming in Tirol next week. At least that!!!

I went to visit my familiy yesterday night for 2 hours. There was an argument with my parents and that was why I decided to return to Vienna.

Got to sleep straight afterwards. Slept until this morning. Very well.

Went to do a filming session at Dominika#s this morning. We discussed about life a long time as well. That was nice! I love her to bits and pieces. She is so young but has a deep inisight for life already. She thinks a lot about the important things in life like love, being alive, what is the sense of being alive and so on and she is analysing herself a lot.

Afterwards I got a call from Oliver that he is celebrating his 25th birthday tonight and that I should come to celebrate with them. I was very amazed to learn about that but went to buy him some lottery tickets and a plant.

Then I went to Technisches Museum to chill out a bit, film a bit the surrounding and enjoy the sun. I got some headache again and just laid back.

I am now at home, a bit drunk already, the party will start soon. Oh my god, how long is this ago that I have drank so much???

I got up a bit late this morning and went straight to the college - equipped with some books about filming because the lessons were boring anyway. Since neither Daniel nor Alex showed up, I decided to visit my video teacher by myself. I went there in the afternoon and he gave good advise and made some very helpful remarks.

I asked Philipp if he would come to the AKH blood donation session next week and amazingly enough he agreed to go there with me. A big relief! Somebody who is not afraid of needles. I have a needle-phobia, really.

Some study colleagues are at the photokina exhibition in Cologne at the moment. Some others will go to the Ars Electronica in Linz on Saturday.

For me, there is the option of either visiting my familiy in Wiener Neustadt, staying in Vienna and filming some scenes with the film camera that I can borrow tomorrow from the college or go to Tirol if Daniel can organise that and make a rec at the house. I would love to do the third option of course! If not, both others.

I need to see my doctor tomorrow as well since the headache has not stopped and I need some documents for the blood transfusion bank.

Moreover, I have finally gotten the photos for Velis wedding calendar and already attached them to the calendar. I am planning to finish it off until next Wednesday.

Kris said that there will be another fire filming session next Tuesday because the first takes were bad. So they need to re-film them. Neat!

Got up with a lot of headache and a weird stomach feeling. Felt very sick.

Headed to Info Research for the billing and then straight to the college. There was something I got mad about. But only for the moment. In the afternoon we went with one of my "favourite" teachers to the Kunsthaus to visit the Giger exhibition with a guided visit. This was very impressive in the sense that these pictures really get one scared. From which phantasies do they derive from? - It was funny to watch throughout the whole day how my favourite guy behaved. :-) I am just smiling to myself now when I think back to that.

Sitting at home working on the storyboard for our filming next week. I have no idea about how the house is laid out, about the working process of an architect and about filming itself. How can this ever be a good image-dvd? At least, I got somebody interested in doing the 3D-visualisations.